TDR: OMG, trades

* Off the bench *

* Leading off *

Move the Chains

  • When I think buzzy! Exciting! Ground breaking! Trailblazing! I think Cleveland. Specifically, I think of the Cleveland Browns. But really, Tuesday night got a little more interesting because the Browns traded for Odell Beckham Jr. Kind of a huge deal. OBJ was the New York Giants’ shining star. They had  him sign a massive five-year $98.5 million contract extension last year that made him the highest paid receiver of all time. Then apparently the Giants said, “Mehhhh, never mind. You can take him, Cleveland.” This is probably because New York ended up having a terrible season and OBJ ruffled some feathers with the top brass. So now he’s heading to browner pastures. Get ready for lots of undefined, pasty white man upper arm to be covered in premature “Super Bowl 54 Champion Cleveland Browns” tattoos.
  • Annnnnd we have another biggy. Remember that time Steelers running back Le’Veon Bell sat out the entire 2018 season bc he didn’t want to agree to a contract that was less money than he felt he deserved? Well he is headed to the NY Jets. Le’Veon’s plan all along was to keep himself from getting injured so he could get a big deal this year during free agency, and he secured a four-year $52.5 million contract. The Jets neeeed a weapon like Bell on offense, so this has has to be amazing news for Jets fans. What a bizarre world it was last night in the NFL.

* Halftime *

I'm so sick and tired of the photoshop

I am deddddd. Ok, by now you’ve heard about Lori Loughlin (aka Aunt Becky from Full House) and Felicity Huffman (aka somebody on Desperate Housewives, idk who I never watched the show) are among 50 parents involved in a college admissions scandal. They paid lots of money to have their very mediocre kids get into very nice universities they aren’t smart enough to attend. (I don’t know why I just got so mean calling their kids mediocre … this one really struck a chord with me? I typed that with so much vigor.) Turns out one of the ways they would do this is by bribing coaches to make it seem like their kids were recruited athletes. Spoiler alert! Lori Loughlin’s daughter never rowed crew! They would literally photoshop their kids rowing, sailing, playing water polo or whatever other waspy sport would do the trick. That is phenomenal. Don’t worry darling, Mommy and Daddy will take care of those silly, gross admissions people. Now hold this tennis racquet and smile.

* After further review *

Yer outta here

So we have a resolution from that whole Russell Westbrook fan altercation that took place on Monday. So Russell was fined $25,000 because you can’t tell fans you’re going to “f–k them up”. The fan, however, who told Russell to “get back down on your knees like you’re used to” is permanently banned from Jazz games. The fan said he did not yell that at Westbrook, but instead told him to “ice those knees up!” You know the classic line we’ve all yelled at an opposing team’s star before. “Keep em iced, Russ! Ice em good!” Sure, sure, it makes sense. Other players backed up Russell’s side of the story, and now a bigger conversation is happening around the problem that is unruly fans.

* Overtime *

* Merch *