TDR: Take me out to the ballgame

* Off the bench *

* Leading off *

Strikeout

Ok, ok let’s check in on the MLB. Last Thursday was Opening Day, so let’s catch you up with what’s happened so far:

  • National league MVP Christian Yelich still got it: He homered in each of his first four games which matches a major league record shared by four other guys. He’s so, so good and will be v important for the Brewers this season.
  • Bryce Harper is off to a hot start in Philly: Despite a couple of strikeouts in his first game which garnered a couple of boos, Bryce Harper seems to be settling into his new team and city pretty nicely. He already has two home runs on the year and has a clean .333 average at the plate so far. Oh, and watch out- he makes his return home to Washington tonight, as his Phillies travel to face the Nats in a midweek, two-game series. Here’s what you can expect for that.
  • The defending World Series champions, the Boston Red Sox, are off to a pretttty forgettable start: They are 1-4 to begin the season after losing 7-0 last night to the Athletics. They will try to turn things around this week with three more games against the A’s followed by a series with the Diamondbacks this weekend.

* Halftime *

The dumbest of days

SO, we here at TDR super hate April Fool’s Day. Why must we constantly be second-guessing everything we hear one day a year? Thank goodness it is April 2. But for the sake of participating, we will catch you up on all the pranks and jokes and LIES from yesterday.

  • Tom Brady got on Twitter and said he is retiring. Good one, Tom.
  • In honor of their 100th year as a team, the Chicago Bears said they would be making each player where a three digit number on their jersey. Ok, this one made me smile. It’s dumb and harmless and dumb so, it can stay. Also, the reveal that is was April Fool’s was funny.
  • Then we had U.S. Tennis saying that puppies would be added to the ballperson team. Cute. Funny imagery, but still kind of irritating.
  • Then there’s the Arizona Coyotes said one of their players was going to be on the Bachelor. Classic.
  • OK FINE THERE WAS ONE GOOD PRANK AND THIS IS IT: young, studly NFL coaches Sean McVay and Kliff Kingsbury are pals. They coach the Rams and Cardinals respectively, and they went to dinner with Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes the other day. McVay changed the name of a friend in his phone to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and had him text him “I can’t believe you’re at dinner with Kingsbury and Mahomes. This is tampering. You’re both losing picks.” AKA when McVay showed rookie NFL coach Kliff Kingsbury the text, Kliff thought he just cost his franchise their No. 1 overall pick in the draft. Apparently he almost peed his pants before finding out McVay was kidding. Reasons I like this one: 1. I, the audience, was not deceived. I prefer to watch other people be fooled. 2. I don’t think this one even happened on April Fool’s Day, so in conclusion, I maintain the holiday is still garbage.

* Play under review *

Return of the King

So, as we told you above, Bryce Harper’s Phillies are playing, what used to be, Bryce Harper’s Nationals tonight. BHarps, signed that massive, massive deal with the Phillies in the offseason after playing his entire career in D.C, so stay tuned for how the fans will react to his return. Me thinks it will be a mixed bag. Some boos, many cheers etc. etc. To set the tone for the two-game series, D.C.’s Mayor got real sassy on Twitter. In a since-deleted tweet, he sent out a picture depicting BHarpies as Benedict Arnold. Mr. Mayor! You crazy. So this should be a fun night. First pitch is at 7:05 p.m.

* Overtime *